After beginning the fantastical and mystic journey of living together, some couples fall into a 'funk'. My partner and I spent the first year of our relationship doing long distance; he lived and worked in Montreal and I did my thing in New York. Any time we would see each other, we would spend practically 24/7 together. Having no physical contact for three to four weeks, sometimes longer, was difficult in itself. But what made the "Getting-to-Know-You" process even more intense was that suddenly we were up each other's asses for a week. Not literally. Well, sometimes literally. But not on purpose.
Anyway, Phil and I never got to go through the traditional "dating period". There were never sleepovers once a week or meeting up for dinner after work. There was never a surprise lunch in the middle of the work day or angst-filled kisses goodnight after a movie, making absolutely idiotic conversation just to spend a few extra moments together. In fact, the first time I went to visit him I was so startled by his normal day-to-day living noises that I sat in the other room, barely moved or breathed, and barely ate for most of the week (if only a little bit of that anxiety would come back, because I looked goooooooood). I was so terrified of him finding out that behind that somehow-majestic filter of a Skype screen and without those pauses in chat conversation, the ones that allow you to think up the exactly perfect mix of funny/clever/insightful sentences, I was actually just a not-so-quippy, rather smelly, awkward-noise-making, kind-of-hot dude with way less self control and self motivation than I may let on.
As the months passed and we spent more and more awkward weeks at a time pretending not to hear each other stifle farts in the bathroom, things began to feel more natural. I memorised his smell, his gait and the cadence of his footsteps. I even stopped feeling so bad about the all of the gear he had to buy in order to block his orifices from any sight or sound of another person in the room that might keep him up at night...even though that other person's snoring might be particularly adorable. We were really starting to feel at home with one another. But things always felt natural with Phil, and when we started living together this past September, nothing changed. There were no crazy blow up fights that couples often experience during those first few months of cohabitation, and though I don't believe that we'll ever agree on the appropriate amount of soap to use when washing dishes, we started to really build a life together in the same city for the first time. Since we did seem to skip a few steps along the way, it is especially important to me that we turn off Breaking Bad every now and then, skip the stir-fry or curry and have an Amazing Super-Fun Date. (Just to be clear, an Amazing Super-Fun Date is very different from any ol' ordinary date).
Below is my ever-growing list of Fool-Proof Ideas for Amazing Super-Fun Dates. I will add more and more ideas to this list as I think of them, and please feel free to leave comments with your own ideas so I can add them to the list (IF I deem them worthy of being categorised as Amazingly Super-Fun). Regardless of how long you've been with your partner, having Amazing Super-Fun Dates is so important for continuing to appreciate one another as individuals and building new experiences together so that you don't become boring and predictable (or fat). Most of these ideas have been tested by Philip and I, and will cost little or no money because we are poor musicians... but I will absolutely throw some other, more opulent, ideas in there in hopes that we will one day be able to afford fancy dates, or for the pleasure of some of you readers with "jobs" and "income". Enjoy!
A List of Fool-Proof Ideas for Amazing Super-Fun Dates:
Anyway, Phil and I never got to go through the traditional "dating period". There were never sleepovers once a week or meeting up for dinner after work. There was never a surprise lunch in the middle of the work day or angst-filled kisses goodnight after a movie, making absolutely idiotic conversation just to spend a few extra moments together. In fact, the first time I went to visit him I was so startled by his normal day-to-day living noises that I sat in the other room, barely moved or breathed, and barely ate for most of the week (if only a little bit of that anxiety would come back, because I looked goooooooood). I was so terrified of him finding out that behind that somehow-majestic filter of a Skype screen and without those pauses in chat conversation, the ones that allow you to think up the exactly perfect mix of funny/clever/insightful sentences, I was actually just a not-so-quippy, rather smelly, awkward-noise-making, kind-of-hot dude with way less self control and self motivation than I may let on.
As the months passed and we spent more and more awkward weeks at a time pretending not to hear each other stifle farts in the bathroom, things began to feel more natural. I memorised his smell, his gait and the cadence of his footsteps. I even stopped feeling so bad about the all of the gear he had to buy in order to block his orifices from any sight or sound of another person in the room that might keep him up at night...even though that other person's snoring might be particularly adorable. We were really starting to feel at home with one another. But things always felt natural with Phil, and when we started living together this past September, nothing changed. There were no crazy blow up fights that couples often experience during those first few months of cohabitation, and though I don't believe that we'll ever agree on the appropriate amount of soap to use when washing dishes, we started to really build a life together in the same city for the first time. Since we did seem to skip a few steps along the way, it is especially important to me that we turn off Breaking Bad every now and then, skip the stir-fry or curry and have an Amazing Super-Fun Date. (Just to be clear, an Amazing Super-Fun Date is very different from any ol' ordinary date).
Below is my ever-growing list of Fool-Proof Ideas for Amazing Super-Fun Dates. I will add more and more ideas to this list as I think of them, and please feel free to leave comments with your own ideas so I can add them to the list (IF I deem them worthy of being categorised as Amazingly Super-Fun). Regardless of how long you've been with your partner, having Amazing Super-Fun Dates is so important for continuing to appreciate one another as individuals and building new experiences together so that you don't become boring and predictable (or fat). Most of these ideas have been tested by Philip and I, and will cost little or no money because we are poor musicians... but I will absolutely throw some other, more opulent, ideas in there in hopes that we will one day be able to afford fancy dates, or for the pleasure of some of you readers with "jobs" and "income". Enjoy!
A List of Fool-Proof Ideas for Amazing Super-Fun Dates:
- Split a bottle of whiskey (or a sheet of LSD, depending on your means) and see any of the Twilight movies
- Go swing dancing at a retirement home's Big Band Night
- Eat Special Brownies and surprise your partner with an ice skating date!
- Go to Eataly: Make your rounds, ordering the cheapest thing at each station and speak in overly animated Italian accents the whole time. Then, when the bill comes, insist that not only did you pay the one-time-buffet fee at the door, but also "ma non parlo inglese!"
- Go to David's Tea and talk for hours
- PIER. 1. IMPORTS.
- Go to trivia night at any sports bar and eat your weight in Super Scorchin' Hot Wings....then go home, put on sweat shirts and try to have sex
- Drink a glass of whiskey, pop three Benadryl, blast Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" and see who can jerk off for longer before passing out. Nobody loses.
- Walk all the way across a city in five feet of snow during a blizzard... to an ice skating rink
- Try to have exhibitionist sex on a tour of the Newtown Creek Wastewater Treatment Plant
- Split a bottle of whiskey (or a sheet of LSD, depending on your means) and crash a rich kid's Bar/Bat Mitzvah
- ....
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